Detachment

The wound was deep

But I held my hand

Over my heart

And when you asked

I pressed the other against your cheek

Engaged your eyes with a smile

Lifted two fingers away from my chest

And showed you the blood there.

Only a few drops, see?

You relaxed then so I held your gaze

With a turn of my cheek

Affectionately toward yours

And when our foreheads met

I pushed yours gently to the left

So you would watch the pretty nurse

Approaching, she was appealing in her

White starched dress and cap, silk

Stockings with a seam

Running all the way down the back of her

Taut calves to the rim of her

White soled comfort shoes

Dipped in scarlet

She never slipped as she

Walked right through me

Crimson prints marked her path

To the next room

To the next door.

As I tried to hold your gaze

Chin in hand

And smile affixed

I felt you stiffen

Your eyelids drooped

You looked as if you swallowed something

Very sharp

Or very poison.

The door shut automatically behind her.

You flinched at the finality

Of the sound

But never looked down

You didn’t have to.

Instead, you looked to the left

From where she had come

And to the right again.

This time when you caught my gaze

I knew I could release you

You used to say my eyes looked empty this way

But I knew

You’d have to hate me

To release me.

Overheard @ the Art Museum

She, the voluptuous one

With the violin lips

Satin mocha arms.

And he, the ardent one

Six-stringed and

Witty to boot.

And her, the silent one

The one paraded, coveted

By the rich, the old, the infirm

The newlywed’s gift

The dream of man

The promise of immortality

She sang through her eyes

And we listened

Intently

For a hint at that secret

Her clarinet shoulders

Cooed and babbled

And we took it as god’s grace.

She’s awake again.

It’s your turn.

No, it’s yours.

No, I took her last night.

You’re mistaken. That was me.

No, it wasn’t.

Please, I’m so tired.

But I worked all day.

And I didn’t?

You slaved.

Yes, I did.

I bore her.

Yes, you did.

Let’s go together.

Are you sure? No. I’ll go.

No, let it be me.

If you’re certain.

I am.

I want to.

For you.

Get some sleep.

I’ve got this.

You rest.

I’m going.

ARPAGGIO!

My darling, I am so sorry.

We need you.

I know.

Never Once

Today

I woke, I worked, I walked

and never once wondered

how it would be if

If only you were here.

Tonight

I write and wrestle with the thought

that I never once wondered.

 

 

July 21, 2008